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NASCAR Sprint-Cup Series
HEMBREE: It’s Been A Tiring Season
Six races seem like an entire season already...
Mike Hembree  |  Posted April 02, 2010   Charlotte, NC
NASCAR officials stand on the grid in the rain prior to the postponement of the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Goody's Fast Pain Relief 500 at Martinsville Speedway. (Photo: Getty Images)
Only six races into the Sprint Cup season, and already I’m tired of:

People assuming Jimmie Johnson will coast home to a fifth straight championship. There are other good drivers out there. They just haven’t reported for work yet.

Those awful Dale Earnhardt Jr. Nationwide insurance commercials. Take a tip from the folks at NAPA, guys. Try funny.

Fans thinking every race should end with cars upside down, cars on fire, drivers whacking each other upside the head and Robin Pemberton running to the finish line with a club in hand. It’s racing, folks. It’s not rasslin’. Well, most of the time it’s not.

The rain. With all due respect to the farming community, we’ve had too much precipitation already. If it rains at Phoenix, where it’s never supposed to rain, all bets are off.

Eddie Gossage. Very tired of him.

Television guys telling us about “that” 24 car and “that” 48 car and “that” 99 car. Is “the” too many syllables?

Loop data. Don’t wanna hear about it.

The spoiler. It’s in place. Let’s race with it. Let’s stop talking about it.

Off weekends. There already have been two this year, and it’s only early April. Let’s race.

The Gatorade/Coke/Cheerwine sling in victory lane. Silly. Not to mention sticky.

Speeding on pit road. Speeding entering pit road. Speeding leaving pit road. Good grief. There is a speed limit on pit road, guys. Accept it. Do we gotta put up speed limit signs with tach numbers at the entrances?

Hearing that Martinsville/Auto Club/Atlanta/Pocono/Fill In The Blank are going to lose a race next year. Let’s get the schedule done soon before chamber of commerce directors slit their wrists or paint over their “friendliest city in the country” signs. Let us know who’s going to lose a race so the mourning can begin and end quickly.

All-Star Race and Budweiser Shootout format changes. Make both races 75 laps, hire Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey for the halftime show and move along with it.

Speedways removing seats to “enhance” the fan experience. Please.

Inflated race-weekend hotel rates. May a plague of roaches invade all your holdings.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. losing. If he doesn’t get at least a couple of wins this season, it’s time to start refunding some souvenir expenditures to that big ol’ fan base.

The Sprint girls grinning in victory lane like schoolgirls with a crush on the football captain. They’re cute and all, but this is a bit vapid. Even for victory lane.

Five hundred miles at Pocono. Four hundred is plenty. Very sufficient. Long enough.

The long sponsor-speak speeches in victory lane. Put your car out front enough, and your sponsor will get the recognition. And while we’re at it, you Coke Family of drivers – put a lid on it.

Awesome. It’s an adjective this sport no longer needs. Kick it to the dirt pile along with the wing.

The wing’s gone? Good. I was tired of it.

Mike Hembree is NASCAR Editor for SPEEDtv.com and has been covering motorsports for 28 years. He has written several books on NASCAR, including "NASCAR: The Definitive History of America's Sport" and "Then Tony Said To Junior: The Best NASCAR Stories Ever Told". He is a six-time winner of the National Motorsports Press Association Writer of the Year Award.

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